She.

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She is eager to please. A smile permanently plastered upon her face in the presence of others, regardless of how her mind knows differently. Constantly working on overdrive, her thoughts unravel like a piece of old cloth, struggling to cling onto the last row of stitching before the next begins to fall.

She is creative; sees potential in which so many do not. Her ideas are original, yet her smile does not let them pass. Her constant fear of judgement has been with her since childhood and although she won’t admit it out loud, it frustrates her to no end.

She is passive. Rather than speak her truth, she will let hurtful words bury themselves deep within her skin, her soul. She won’t admit this out loud, but she has inherited this trait from her mother.

She finds the most pleasure in being alone. Surrounded by the musical poetry of others, a place she can get lost in stories of others, often relating them to her own experiences.

She knows she can count the number of true friends she has on one hand and it does not bother her one bit. She is also afraid that her true friends will never actually know the real her. The girl she is inside her mind as opposed to the girl they see.

She has never known romance. Although she likes to think she knows about it. She is afraid she may never experience love in the way it should be experienced. In fact, it is probably the most frightening thing which currently clogs her mind and has been for many years.

She craves affection, love, appreciation and acceptance from everyone. She knows life could be so much more than what it is, but she is too afraid to start a new chapter for fear of the unknown.

She wants so much on the inside but expects so little on the outside.

She will be free. 

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6 Months – Moving On & Self Discovery

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6 months. That’s how long it’s been since I started a brand new chapter of my life.

They say that you shouldn’t let your professional life affect your personal life. That work shouldn’t be as important as your relationships/friendships/family. But when you’re suddenly left without a job, you quickly realize just how important having a professional life can be and how it can affect you as a person.

6 months ago, I was made redundant from my job that I had held for the past 5 years. It was always something I was proud of for my age – securing a job which I not only enjoyed doing, but one that I had been able to stay at for 5 years. So many people in my generation seemed content with switching and changing, picking and choosing and trying a bit of everything before finally settling into what they wanted to do. I felt so lucky to have found something I enjoyed doing, doing it well and continuing to do it well for 5 years.

I learned that a lot can change in 5 years for a person. You learn so much about yourself both professionally and personally. But I’ve also learned how much one can learn about themselves in as little as 6 months. How much I can impress myself, looking back on what I have achieved since leaving my job in May, 2016 and how far I have come personally.

You would think that being made redundant would have broken my self-confidence and shattered my belief in myself that I could find another job that I loved just as much as the one I had. 6 months ago, I would have let my anxiety get the better of me and probably would have made myself sick through fear of the unknown.

The truth is, I do fear the unknown. I worry about not only my future, but the future of everyone I love. The difference between who I am now and who I was 6 months ago is that I realize that some things just aren’t up to us to decide. We have to be open to change, to possibility and bend when the wind tries to break us.

I’ve been working in a new job for a wonderful company for the past 4 months. Something I never saw coming, yet when it happened, it just felt right. I knew it was because I kept myself calm and positive, even though the second month of unemployment (which definitely tested my strength).

This whole post isn’t about me. It’s not about overcoming a hard time or my pride in myself for riding through the roller-coaster of change and being left relatively unscathed (although I do reflect on both regularly). I want whoever is reading this post and is dealing with hardship to know this: nobody knows what is going to happen in their lives. We have no idea what we will be doing a week or a month or 6 months from now.

I say to you, do not be afraid of change. Do not let others’ worries for you become your own. Take care of yourself, of your anxieties and your fears and do not close yourself off to change in whatever area of your life you are hoping for some kind of miracle.

6 months ago, I started a new chapter and I feel as though I am a different woman because of it on so many levels. Learning to roll with the punches that life throws at us can be tough, but once you can duck before you’re hit, things start to become a whole lot clearer and the challenge of life becomes so much more.

Try your best, take care of yourself, love yourself and never stop creating positivity within yourself.

6 months has gone and I’ll never look back.

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New Beginnings | Personal Update

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A little over a month ago I wrote a post in which I detailed some of the changes that were occurring in my life. In fact, one of the main reasons I have persevered with this blog (besides my love of writing) was to have some kind of outlet for my emotions while dealing with my life for the past weeks.

Thankfully, I have finally been able to make lemonade out of the lemons which life had thrown at me back in February and I am happy to let you all in on some exciting news:

I have a new job!

I will be starting at my new position on Monday. I won’t give too much information away (more for the reason that I don’t really know much about it yet!), but I will say that it is a temporary Executive Assistant position.

Now, I know you probably saw the word ‘temporary‘ and had the same cringed look on your face that I did. But I decided to just go for it. No more worrying or nitpicking about things. I decided that something is better than nothing. Working within a field that I have experience in, within a position which is respectable and exciting to me outweighed all the negative points I had when thinking of my options. If a full-time position becomes available in the meantime, I may take it. But for now, I am feeling happy.

I am nervous of beginning work at a new organisation. I am sure my first day will be like the first day of high school – meeting new people, trying to find my way around and eventually finding a few people I can really rely on to make my experience a positive one. I’m looking forward to learning new things, helping new people and just starting fresh. A clean slate has been handed to me and I am so ready to write my next chapter onto it.

So, I guess this little update was as much as a way for me to write my feelings down about this change as it was for me to get a message out for whoever is reading this to hopefully connect to:

Do not give up. Life is difficult sometimes and regardless of how big or small the challenge is that you are faced with, there are ways to get through and eventually get to a place where you feel relieved and motivated again. It’s a matter of never forgetting what your goals and passions are and continuing to perservere during those negative moments.

I have not completely met my life goals yet. I have so many things that I want to achieve within the next year, and I now know that with determination and hard work, I will be able to get closer to the finish line and start another marathon towards yet another chapter of my life.

I wanted to thank anyone who has sent me encouraging messages during the past few months. Your words of positivity and understanding helped push me through to the other side.

I’m off to have a glass (or two) of wine to celebrate this new chapter in my life finally beginning – I’ll be toasting to every one of you!

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Happy Mother’s Day


To my beautiful mother: I will never be able to show you how much I love and appreciate everything you do for me. I only hope that in all of the days I live, I am able to make you proud of me. 

To the mothers out there reading: have a spectacular day with your loved ones and take a moment to cherish the gift of your children/family.


To the children out there reading: never forget the moments your mother was there for you, or the moments your dad was there to step up as both parents. The strength that parents hold is not earned, it isn’t taught…its just there. They’re all trying their best. Don’t let petty things ruin your relationship with mum and dad. Tell them you love them and spend time with them, even when you might not think they’re ‘cool’ enough for you. 


To those who’s mothers are no longer with them…I’m sending you all the love in the world. I will light a candle and think of you tonight. Please do something fun in honour of your mum, and smile when you think of her. 

Happy Mother’s Day. xx 


Saturday Night Bonfire


Just got home from a lovely evening with friends. 

My friend’s parents live on a farm and once a year they like to make the most of burning off extra crop by holding a bonfire evening.

Thankfully, the cool Autumn air has finally arrived, with the evening warmed up as the fire grew. There was actually 4 separate fires burning in total – at one point it almost looked like we were the only small group of people left alone on earth from some kind of apocolyptic war. 


There were also fireworks throughout the night, which I just love. I think that fireworks are one of those things that make me instantly feel like a child again, even just for a few seconds. The wonder and excitement when seeing the colourful sparkles in the sky just takes my breath away. 

I really don’t take evenings like this for granted. Especially as I get older and see my friends less and less, as we all have so much to do. 

Sitting around with drinks, laughing and having fun for a few hours in the light of those warm flames was just what I needed tonight to end a rather boring week. 

Feeling like I can take on the coming week with confidence and hope. 

I trust you are all enjoying your weekend! I’d love to know what you got up to! 

Life Advice – starting over

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If you had told me this time last year that I would be accepting redundancy from my job next week, I would have slapped you in the face and called you a liar.

It’s amazing not only how much things around us can change in the space of a year or a month or even a week; but how our reactions can change as well. Our confidence levels can increase or drop and our ability to make somewhat difficult decisions can be relatively easy.

Looking forward at the coming months, I know that I will find another job. When or where is yet to be seen, but I am looking at things in a positive way. This is my chance to start fresh and start over. Sometimes all it takes is 1 thing in our lives to be out of whack for us to decide to take a new path. Whether that path is still being paved or whether we know exactly what is coming next, starting over can be daunting. But it can also be incredibly empowering.

Take matters into your own hands and make the decision to try and be positive. I say try because we all have days where we just don’t understand why certain things had to happen to us. I have questioned “Why?” so many times over the past month and have cried over the choices I have had to make more than a few times. But there is only so much moping than you can do before you realise you are achieving nothing by focusing on negativity. Stand tall, look forward and know that things will be alright in the long run.

Sometimes it can take a major lifestyle change in order for us to really start over. Whether it’s changing jobs, moving to a new city, dealing with the passing of a loved one or going through the breakdown of a relationship, these things can help us decide to begin a new path.

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Personally, I have been setting goals for myself now that I know I will most probably be without a job next month. I want to focus more on health/fitness, get outside in the sunshine more, write more and spend more time improving myself for nobody’s benefit but my own. Setting goals for yourself during times of change can be incredibly beneficial for your wellbeing. It is so easy to fall into a slump and not want to do anything, but picking yourself up and writing a simple list of what you want to achieve – whether they be daily, weekly or long-term goals – can be so helpful on getting yourself back on that path that’s being paved.

Another awesome thing about starting over is making the decision to change something about yourself. Whether you decide to dye your hair a different colour, or cut it off, sometimes the best way to start over is to make that change in your appearance. We all know of people who have cut their hair after a major life event has occured – how liberated do they always look? Do something different – wear a different shade of lipstick, wear different shoes, swap skirts for pants…change it up!

This is OUR TIME to feel liberated and motivated for our next chapter. There is nobody standing in your way of achieving your goals but you! Push past those times where starting over can feel like you’re stuck in a car without gas and get yourself to that service station for a tune-up!

If you are currently starting a new chapter in life, just know that you are not alone. Things will be okay – keep paving that path and eventually you will arrive at your next destination.

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International Day Of Happiness – 5 things I’m happy about

It’s the International Day Of Happiness!

Happiness can be felt in so many ways and for so many different reasons.

I am someone who tries to find happiness in every day activities and events.

Here are 5 other things that I am happy about today:

  • I have a job interview tomorrow – am I going to use this news as an excuse to shop for new work clothes? I sure am!
  • I bought some Nescafe Mocha-flavoured coffee sachets on the weekend and with the cool change in weather my morning coffee was absolutely delicious.
  • I bought my very first laptop over the weekend – a MacBook Air. I have never owned a laptop so this will be a whole new experience for me. Very excited to do more regular blogging once it’s delivered sometime this week.
  • Among my healthier grocery items which I purchased this morning, I also bought a jar of Nutella and a pack of bagels.
  • I have just finalised some plans with my cousin who will be visiting this Easter long weekend with her husband. We are very close but do not get to see eachother much, so I am very excited to see her!

Happiness can be found in events which are both big or small. It’s all about celebrating life’s many achievements and giving ourselves a pat on the back when things are going our way.

Here’s to a happy day for you all and to many moments of happiness in years to come!

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Life Advice – you are not ‘running behind’ on life

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It seems simple enough: we grow up being told we need to stick to a certain plan which was mapped out for us by our parents. We go to school, get a job and eventually some of us go to university. And then we follow a plan which we think  was mapped by ourselves, when we are actually looking to our friends/people around the same age of us for comparison that we are doing well on our journeys.

In recent times I have found that I have been looking around at other people’s lives a lot and, in turn, comparing what I am doing to what others are doing.

My achievements and strengths seemed to diminish while comparing myself to others. I realized that while a lot of my friends have moved out of home and bought their own homes this past year, I am still at home with my family.

Isn’t it funny how comparing ourselves to others can sometimes bring out our most negative side?

After some thinking about my life and whether I am happy with things the way they are at the moment, I came to this conclusion: just because people around you are moving forward, it does not mean that you have to as well. It is perfectly okay to be comfortable with the life you have, especially if you are happy with your current situation.

Living on my own is definitely a goal I have set for myself for the coming year. It is a goal I have set primarily for my own benefit and not because I want to be like my friends. (Although, seeing some of my friends new homes has definitely given me inspiration for my future home!)

It is important to make your life decisions based on what YOU want and need. Comparing yourself to friends is sometimes not realistic to what you are able to achieve.

Take a moment and write down your goals for the next 5 years. Some may be big goals and some may be small. Next, write down what you will need to do in order to achieve those goals. For example; you may need to save more money, or get a second job, look into taking some kind of course, or do research online…there are many steps to be taken in order to achieve your goals.

Just because you are not doing what everyone else is doing, it doesn’t mean you are behind on life. There is no set guideline for how we should live our lives throughout our twenties. Things go wrong, plans fall through and I guarantee that we do not usually end up in the same place we started by the time we turn thirty.

It’s scary and it’s hard, but if you stay true to yourself and to your goals and ambitions, your life will work itself out eventually. Who knows, your friends may be looking at you and wishing they had your life!

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Life Advice – how change can be positive

I have always called myself the Pollyanna of my workplace.

With a positive, optimistic outlook on life, I have always managed to take a negative situation and spin it into a somewhat positive situation. It’s something I take pride in – the ability to see the bigger picture over the here and now.

However, in recent weeks after deciding to take a voluntary redundancy from my job – which currently will leave me unemployed within a month – trying to remain positive and optimistic has been hard.

Change can be a wonderful thing if you are able to look at it as a good thing. Most endings bring new beginnings, and while I couldn’t see it for a while, I know my job ending leaves me open to a new chapter. Not just a new professional chapter, but a new chapter in life if that is what I want.

It can be so easy to fall into a negative slump. Trust me when I say that I have been there many times and it is hard to hold my head high and look further down the road to where things may get better.

Important things I try to ask myself during times of important life changes are:

  • “How do you feel now the decision has been made?” 

I was once told that the feeling of relief after making a very difficult decision is a sign that it was the right one. My recent decision to take redundancy was a hard one, but once things were finalized and the weight was lifted off my shoulders, I felt a huge wave of relief. Trust those feelings.

  • “Think of life this time 6 months ago – how much has changed in such a short amount of time? How can life change again in another 6 months or even a year?”

Looking into the future is something I try not to do too often as it can cause stress and worrying about things that probably will never happen. However, in times of change I like to think of how much positive change can occur in such a short space of time. It happens every day and sometimes we do not take enough time to appreciate just how far we have come and what barriers we have broken in order to get to the place we are right now. Keep your thoughts positive and perspective optimistic.

  • “Am I open to the world and whatever positive changes are about to come my way or am I shutting myself off, blocking any possible change that may be trying to make its way through to me?”

I am a big believer in being in-tune with the world around us. If we shut ourselves away and let negativity take over our minds and bodies, how do we expect those around us to help us? Not just friends and family, but everybody. We are all connected by energy and we all are drawn to certain people because of the energy they radiate. If we want good things to happen, we need to be open to it. Sometimes things we think are too far out of our reach just need to know you truly want them before they make themselves known.

  • “Who in my life can help me through times of negativity?”

Staying positive through times of change can get hard. Some days are harder than others. It is important to have people surrounding us who we can count on for support and confiding. Whether that is a parent, friend, work college or counselor, it is important to offload and receive validation that our thoughts and feelings are understood. There are even telephone hotlines you may wish to call who offer free counselling support 24/7 if things get to be too much.

  • “How can I help guide myself through times of negativity affected by change?”

Because we have to live with ourselves all day, every day. And if we can recognise that things aren’t so great at the moment, it is important for us to also recognise ways that we may be able to make things better. Whether it is treating yourself to a pedicure, or watching your favourite movie, or going for a walk in the sunshine while your favourite song plays on your ipod…there are endless things you can do to make yourself feel better.

Take a moment to focus on your breathing techniques. There are some amazing apps which assist in regulating breathing during times of stress. Sometimes 5 minutes a day of focused breathing can make a world of difference.

Wise words from my favourite lady, Miss Swift.

Change can be incredibly scary but you never have to go through it alone. Try to see the bigger picture and remain as positive as possible. If things get too much, it is also OK to let things out and if you need to cry or get angry or eat a pint of ice cream to feel somewhat better – I recommend it!

Lastly, if you are experiencing some kind of uncertain change at the moment, I hope things go well for you soon. Life is interesting in the way good things happen to people and sometimes you need to experience low moments before you can soar back into those incredible heights.

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