She is eager to please. A smile permanently plastered upon her face in the presence of others, regardless of how her mind knows differently. Constantly working on overdrive, her thoughts unravel like a piece of old cloth, struggling to cling onto the last row of stitching before the next begins to fall.
She is creative; sees potential in which so many do not. Her ideas are original, yet her smile does not let them pass. Her constant fear of judgement has been with her since childhood and although she won’t admit it out loud, it frustrates her to no end.
She is passive. Rather than speak her truth, she will let hurtful words bury themselves deep within her skin, her soul. She won’t admit this out loud, but she has inherited this trait from her mother.
She finds the most pleasure in being alone. Surrounded by the musical poetry of others, a place she can get lost in stories of others, often relating them to her own experiences.
She knows she can count the number of true friends she has on one hand and it does not bother her one bit. She is also afraid that her true friends will never actually know the real her. The girl she is inside her mind as opposed to the girl they see.
She has never known romance. Although she likes to think she knows about it. She is afraid she may never experience love in the way it should be experienced. In fact, it is probably the most frightening thing which currently clogs her mind and has been for many years.
She craves affection, love, appreciation and acceptance from everyone. She knows life could be so much more than what it is, but she is too afraid to start a new chapter for fear of the unknown.
She wants so much on the inside but expects so little on the outside.
She will be free.
We’ve grown up in a world where finding a partner to spend the rest of our lives with is viewed as the ideal. Romantic comedies and Disney movies alike tell us that if we want our lives to be better and happier, ending up with someone is the way to do it.
There comes a point if you’re single like me and you’ve hit a certain age, realising that you haven’t found the person of your dreams can be incredibly upsetting and worrying. You find yourself comparing your life and love life to that of your friends/family, thinking that time may be running out for you.
I have some news for you: time is not running out. The fairy-tale is far from over.
In fact, in this fairy-tale, the Princess doesn’t need a prince or princess in order to live happily ever after. The Princess does need to accept that they don’t need to share their life with someone else to feel complete (no matter what Jerry Maguire may have told you).
Finding love should not be a sport. It should not be a race. I wish that I had grown up with fairy-tales about women who found their own happily ever afters through their own self-acceptance and courage. Women who were open to love and ready for relationships, but who were also focused on other important things in life such as a satisfying career or fulfilment with her relationship with her closest friends.
If you are feeling like you’re waiting for your true love to find you, you’re not alone. Know that you are open to love, new experiences and to the prospect of finding someone to fits into your already amazing life.
The most important thing in our lives is self happiness – start by loving yourself some more and who knows just who might be around the corner.
Having and expressing empathy towards others can be difficult for some people. Sometimes you probably use empathy in every day life and don’t even realise you are doing it.
The ability to forget your own views and opinions on a person or situation and see the world through another’s eyes for a short time can be tough. Especially if you are seeing through the eyes of someone who may have hurt or upset you directly.
Being present, focused and open is an important part of empathy. Putting yourself in the shoes of another and trying to understand why they think or feel the way they do can be difficult, but once you master it, it can change the way people see you as a communicator and confidant.
Having empathy for others is a life skill which should be taught to children from a young age. For children to think of how others’ may think or feel in certain moments can help them become caring adults who are able to look at life’s challenges in a much more compassionate way.
Using words like “I understand how you must feel…” when responding in times where anyone confides in you helps that person to trust that you are listening to them and that what they are saying is important to you. Repeating certain facts back and trying to relate their story to your own experiences can also help – not by making the conversation about you, but by showing that you understand the situation which that person may be in.
Personally, I have found empathy as a great tool in understanding why people in my life may have chosen to take certain paths or say certain things. I also think it has made me more compassionate towards the stories of strangers and celebrities who have made mistakes for the world to see and helps me see them as human instead of ‘celebrity’.
In the end, treating others the way you would want to be treated is incredibly true. Use respect and compassion when helping others and try to place yourself in their shoes.
Knowing that others are making an effort to understand us and rather than judge us without waiting is something we all deserve and would appreciate.